Those Sudden Outbursts

Do you ever get those random moments where you want to just burst out in tears?

I'm not the typical adolescent who keeps whining about how f*cked up their life is because no life has the perfect family. Everyone has their problems, but the depth of those problems vary.

I'm a well off girl. I have a roof, clothes, time to spend on my hobbies...the good stuff. I have a great set of friends and family. Hell, I even have a flat iron!

Yet, sometimes, I get that feeling churning in my stomach where I want to sit down and close my eyes...reflect. Growing up isn't without its flaws. No one I know possesses only good qualities. Hearing other people's sadness is practically contagious. When my parents complain, I feel it too. When my friends pour to me their problems, I feel them.

So what am I really getting at? What am I trying to say? Well, I guess everyone should try to bring that small bit of happiness. You can't be perfect. You can't fake a smile. Even so, I realize it takes a lot more effort to stay unhappy than it is to be happy.

I suffered a time when I was at my lowest...Everything in my life was starting to blur. I started to forget what I was living for. You don't always need a reason to be depressed. You don't always have to have even a good reason to be depressed--it happens to everyone.

The most important thing is to be able to lift your chin high again and move forward. Life never stops, so why should you? I know that keeping your feet planted in the ground while still walking is hard to do. Yet, no one can make you walk. You control your feet. Tell them where to go. When you start walking, you finally notice the scenery around you. You finally notice those flowers and those butterflies standing tall next to you and they stretch out for miles and miles. It can always rain, but instead of standing there in the wet weather, find a warm shelter you can call a home.

Shakespeare in Love

Ahhhhh!!!! What can I possibly say about this movie....It was beautiful and took my breath away.

I used to hate Shakespearean...His language, his style, but I believe the only reason why was that I listened to Shakespearean in class. His language sounds very different on a professionally trained actor compared to a fourteen year old boy with speech defect.

Besides that, this movie gave me a new view on Shakespeare. He's not the snobby playwriter I thought. He was an average man working his way up and wrote his plays from his heart...He truly was a glorious writer.

Not only that, but the movie was so beautiful. There's nothing I admire more than 1600 century Britain an any other historical livelihood! Both actors were very powerful and they were so good at what they were doing. By the end of the movie, I was crying...and I KEPT crying for literally, one whole hour! It was that amazing.

For anyone who hasn't seen this movie, it is definitely worth it.

Happy MLK Day!

I was playing Dokapon Kingdom yesterday with my brother, Ben, and Davin. I remember playing once by myself a few months ago, but wasn't much fun. This game is definitely planned for a group because it kept our interests! Definitely reccomend it for a party !

You design a character and choose your class. Then, the set up is like an RPG boardgame. It sort of resembles the classic Mario Party, except with an anime and magical theme. It's also really cute!

Besides video games, I found a great way for really moisturized skin! (lolol.)

I used Bubzbeauty's acne/scar mask & toner. (Click to view!) I've used the toner for two days along with my regular moisturizer and my cheeks do feel very smooth! Can't say too much if it's actually done anything for acne just yet. :) She says that results will be noticeable in 2 weeks. Yes, I do intend to wait that long lol. It's just fun to brush over my face. Personally, I like the smell of apple cidar vinegar. ;) but yes, it's not something you'd want to walk out of the house with! (lol)

It's snowing up here! Too bad we don't get any days off. :( I doubt the superintendant will dare take another day off after her failed prediction of hefty ice.

Physical Appearance

Throughout the entire day, my mom has been pestering me about my acne. I have acne around my forehead and T-zone. I started getting acne in 5th grade and now that I'm a freshman in high school, I still have it. Products have never worked and neither have masks. Before, I was extremely stressed out about how my face looked and irritated my skin with plenty of different products. My mom told me to leave it alone and let time do its thing.

I finally came to terms with just leaving my acne alone because that seems to do the best trick. My mom, however, has completely changed her mind about that. She's been giving me all these half-assed products--gilette facial cleanser for men (did nothing), a bunch of CVS chemically branded crap, and a whole lot of POPPING. I told her nononononono because after YEARS of testing out my skin, I know what works best: time. Yet, my mom has decided to change her mind and throw me a bunch of crap.

Acne has started to play a large role in my tween and early teen years. I was stressed out and extremely insecure over my acne. Now that my insecurities have shifted away from my face, my mom is bringing them all back. She once never noticed my acne. Now, she can't stop talking about it. She's even pointed all the flaws in my body (which I took from her ironically.) I remember when my mom used to compliment my body a few years ago. Now all she can do is say something bad about it. My physical appearance as a whole had never been a problem to me until now. I've never felt so self-conscience over it.

I don't worry so much about looks during school because most of my class are my friends. Therefore, I'm not that consicous around them. Yet, I still try to hide these imperfections and I'm ashamed of it. I know I shouldn't, but having it suddenly pointed out to me makes me feel like I should.

At the end of the day, I still love my mother despite all the crap she gives me.

Now to start...

This will be my personal blog where I do random stuff. I'll record what goes on in my life and it's just nice to look back and see everything that's happened before just so you can see how far you've progressed all these years! Anyways, I miss blogging. :)

To get started, here are my current favorites/tidbits:
Favorite food as of now: sushi
Favorite snack as of now: peanut butter w/ bananas ;)
Favorite movie: Journey From the Fall
School: BLS
I play World of Warcraft. lvl 80 warlock Amykinz (alliance) @ shadowmoon

Yesterday, I went to see Avatar 3D, and it was pretty amazing. People say that the story runs around and isn't very indepth, but everyone has to agree that the picture is amazing. I think the story is pretty well rounded and the colors are amazing. During the entire movie, I was thinking "warcraft meets starcraft!" It was a great movie. Definitely worth watching for anyone who hasn't before!

Afterwards, we went to Toro. It's a Korean restaurant that I've been to before, but they were running especially slow today. Not only did we have a gratuity rate of 15%, waited one hour for our food to come, it was wildly expensive. The total bill was $95. We paid $80 and ran away. Mind you, I'm not the kind of person to do this. We had enough money, but we were pretty hungry and fed up (lol?) with their slow service. This was my first dine n dash experience because peer pressure is a cruel cruel thing...